Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
