think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
