I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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