i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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