GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
