She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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