What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
