He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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