she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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