girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
this will be a night to untag.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
