I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
