so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
