Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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