she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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