He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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