Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
