dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am midnight drunk by noon
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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