So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
