Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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