Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
