I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
MIDGETS
????
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize