This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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