Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize