Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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