i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
