I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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