I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
