Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
