i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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