There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
