he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
