dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
