I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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