the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
