it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize