in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
operation harelip BJ is a go
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
