the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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