I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
