Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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