Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
