yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My balls are so social today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
