So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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