The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
