But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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