party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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