Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
