would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize