quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
