OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize