Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We are two peas in an std pod
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
