I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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