I want to make a zoo with you.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
