So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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