Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
