My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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