I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize