I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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