i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize