HIV tests are more positive than that guy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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