He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
