But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
