is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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