I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
