WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
