uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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