THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize